13 ways ADHD coaching has changed my life
How I'm living a life that I didn't think was possible
When I got my ADHD diagnosis, I thought that finally I had all the answers I needed. This was it, I had a name for what had been going on in my brain for nearly four decades and things would get better.
Except they didn’t.
In fact, things seemed to get a lot worse.
It felt like all the traits that I’d been somewhat managing had now all come out at once to have a giant party.
I was so confused and felt even more lost than I had before. My anxiety skyrocketed and simple things like going for a walk that used to help suddenly caused more anxiety. I struggled to leave the house and couldn’t really manage anything on my own for a while.
Shortly after my diagnosis, my psychiatrist added me to the waiting list for ADHD specialised therapy. I’d been waiting for a little while when I got a message to say that the NHS funding for ADHD therapy had unfortunately been stopped so suddenly this was no longer an available option.
So I had to find another option and one that kept popping up was ADHD coaching. It’s not something that I’d considered before, but it was something I definitely needed because although I now had a name for what was going on in my brain, I had absolutely no idea what that actually meant in practice, how my brain worked or how to start moving forward with this new knowledge.
So, I tentatively joined an ADHD coaching programme, not really sure what to expect.
And it’s honestly been life changing.
Ways ADHD coaching changed my life
For me, coaching has been more impactful than anything else in terms of helping me to understand my ADHD and how to work with my brain. Now, beyond the label, I understand how my brain actually works in terms of the science, why some things are more difficult, why some things are easier and how to structure my life in a way that works for me.
Working with an ADHD informed coach was essential. I’ve had a lot of therapy in my lifetime but no one has been able to support me in the same way as someone who was specially trained to understand the nuance of ADHD.
When I first started my sessions, I thought that I was going to learn loads of hacks or be told how I needed to do things but it’s not about that at all. It’s about learning how your individual ADHD presents for you, finding your strengths and accepting who you are.
I’ve learned to get comfortable with who I actually am, really do the hard inner work to understand myself and that’s been scary and uncomfortable at times but has changed my life in so many positive ways.
Change starts with noticing and that can be hard because you’re noticing things that might bring feelings of shame. I’m now more self-compassionate and able to forgive myself for perceived failures.
I’ve been given a whole new language to understand myself, talk about how I’m feeling and experiment with ways of being in the world that work for me.
I’ve learned to focus on my strengths and be brave and curious about the way I experience the world.
I’ve learned to pause in situations that I find challenging and consider what’s happening through an ADHD lens. I can then be kinder to myself and lean into just being me.
For the first time in my life, I’m setting boundaries, putting my needs first and focusing on what’s important to me. I’ve stopped mirroring as much and am learning what I love again.
I’ve found an amazing community within my personal coaching groups and then during my time training to be an ADHD coach. Spending time with other people who get it is so affirming and something I’d never experienced before.
I’ve been able to redesign my working life. I had spent literally decades feeling like I didn’t fit in or struggling with cycles of burnout and now I work for myself as an HR consultant providing neurodiversity inclusion support for organisations, and as an ADHD coach, helping other people to embrace who they are.
I’ve found my confidence again. I had stopped writing, stopped speaking up. stopped participating in life really. Now I show up in the way that works for me and the anxiety that used to feel like a hurricane, has now faded to a gentle breeze.
I’m able to recognise that ADHD isn’t linear. Some days will be harder than others but now I have so many more options in my toolkit to support myself.
Being able to retrain as a coach myself has been one of the best experiences of my life. I’ve met amazing people and I’m doing work that really matters to me. I know that by doing the inner work on myself has helped me to be ready to support other people in similar ways.
I’m now gently opening up my own coaching doors for new clients and hope that I can support so many more people to live the life they really want and deserve.
I have space for 3 new 1:1 clients in May. I’ll also be launching a small group programme in June/July which is a slightly more structured course and a brilliant opportunity to connect with other people over a shared experience.
You can find out more about coaching with me here and book a discovery call here.
As always, thank you so much for being here (I promise that these newsletters will predominately be a place to share AuDHD experiences and I won’t be relentlessly selling my services every week but just want to pop a little mention in every now and then in case it might be helpful to someone).
Until next week,
Allie x
This is so interesting. I have read a bit about it now you explain it. It’s the always second guessing the way to be ‘normal’?
I think I connect to that to an extent but I need to think about it a little more and you can chip in you opinion as I’m very much still in the exploring stage of neurodivergence.
I know I copy accents but it feels more subconscious than intentional… I also copy writing styles in reply, I try and match the tone or vocabulary. Or is that different?
I pick up sayings or words from someone easy, a friend of mine used to say oopla when he dropped something and I still use it. Or a friend used to always say d’accord and I can still hear it in my head. But that might be more the sound of the word I like rather than trying to fit in 🤔
I’ll have to ponder it more.
Thank you for sharing. It’s nice to hear what’s working. I have a question, what do you mean by mirroring? I’ve not heard of this before? 💚